Where Do I Exist?

Where do I exist? 

I usually exist in the past. 

My shadow in the present.. 

Rarely found in the future.. 

As I step forward, I step on lots of things.. 

For I possess a heart of a child, my heart hasn't grown an inch since I was 5 or maybe 7.. 

Always longing for a safe hand to hold to with a tight grip.. 

But they always depart.. 

When I look at my hand, there is always blood, later when the blood fades away, there is a scar.. 

I told u I am holding very tight.. 

But no matter how tight I hold, their hands vanish.. 

..

In a dark corner where no one can see, an abandoned, scared, crumbled weeping child.. 

Guarded with a rock - like mask.. 

.. 

As the mourning ceremony is over, we go ahead towards the future.. 

With scars in our hands, and scars in our hearts.. 

Old hands come seeking us.. 

In the same spot they left us at.. 

They find only stains of drying blood,, remains of amber that were once our tears and their memories.. 

But they find us none.. 

By then we exist only in the faded past..